We moved into the house I grew up in back in 1967 when I was four. A year later, my mom gave birth to my little brother Marshall.
The house had a HUGE yard by Southern California standards. I remember my dad bragging that we had a “tenth of an acre!” It was a mess though. There were weeds and rocks everywhere. One day my dad enlisted my five-year-old help to pick up rocks.
He told me that if I collected the rocks and put them in a bucket, he would give me a penny for each one. My mom quickly chimed in about what a great opportunity this was for me. So, I got busy.
I distinctly remember seeing my dad’s bucket of rocks and walking over to take rocks out of his and putting them into mine.
Out of nowhere, my dad yelled at me.
“What are you doing? You know what? You’re FIRED!”
I had no idea what that meant, but then my mom yelled at me too and told me I couldn’t do that job anymore. My dad then said that there was NOTHING worse in life than getting fired from a job.
All I felt was a deep sense of shame. And I never forgot it. I also made a commitment that I would never get fired again.
As it happens, I didn’t get fired from anything until 2009. I had a part-time career coaching position at the University of Maryland, working with the alumni from their business school. The recession hampered my management development consulting and training business, so I made money doing career work. A wealthy UM alumnus put up a huge grant to help alumni that were struggling in their finance careers during the Great Recession. I made the mistake of inviting alumni to a career event I was speaking at, sponsored by a local church, using the U of M email address I had. I guess that violated “Separation of Church and State” and I was let go.
I was angry, but not crushed. Yes, I was fired, but for this, I didn’t mope around. The alumni that attended the event didn’t seem to have issues. They even came up to me at the break to say hello. The shame of being fired wasn’t like it was when I was a kid. But again, I never forgot the lesson. It sticks with me even today. Getting fired isn’t fun.
What advice did you get early in life that has guided you even through today? How does it impact what you do and think? More importantly, are you aware of the advice that you are giving others?
My brother and I had an up and down relationship with our dad. After he passed away, we compared notes and even though we remembered lots of hard times growing up with him, we still remembered a few lessons. Now that my brother is gone, it’s up to me to keep it going.
What advice will you be sharing this week?
