I have three cats and two dogs. Rusty and Shiloh are goldendoodles. They are typical of their breed: non-shedding, smart, and compassionate. If Rusty could talk, his voice would be that of Matthew Broderick. Shiloh would sound like Donkey (Eddie Murphy) from Shrek.
Two of my cats are sisters. Iris and Athena were part of a litter of barn cats. Iris would have what is known as Sexy Baby Voice (think Paris Hilton or Betty Boop). Athena would sound like Demi Moore, a husky feminine voice. My male cat, Tiger, chose us. We were on a three-mile walk and a tiny kitten followed us the entire way. I couldn’t help but take him home. He would sound like the Lucifer from the TV series Lucifer. With a devious British accent.
What they sound like doesn’t tell me what my pets are saying. My guess is they would tell me they need more treats or to quit looking at my phone and pay attention to them. That’s the challenge. Animals haven’t learned to use their words.
Some people don’t know how to use their words either. Children, who have limited vocabulary, might communicate with emotion. Adults might do the same and add in some body language. But nothing clarifies like using your words.
Sometimes, you can’t use your words. The times I felt disrespected by senior officers and petty officers in the Navy, I just swallowed my pride and seethed on the inside. You just stand there and take it. Outside of that though, NOT using your words is inexcusable. Fortunately, there is a tool to help.
This step-by-step script enables you to speak TO power and state HOW you feel. It goes like this:
When you… (insult me in front of my peers)
I feel… (disrespected)
Because… (I was singled out and shamed publicly)
What I’d prefer is… (If I screw up, counsel me in private)
Because… (I don’t deserve to be made an example in front of everyone)
What do you think? (Yes, ask them!)
If you can’t say this, you need to get OUT of that situation or grow some courage.
Use your words.
Nobody deserves to be disrespected.
