The other day, my wife and I had a debate about music while driving in the car. Our Sirius channel was set to The Highway which plays today’s hot country songs. I told her I didn’t like country music anymore. I didn’t like the hip-hop fake drum tracks, the guys wearing skinny jeans, “Bro-Country” and now what’s being referred to as “Boyfriend Country” , and the duets with pop stars like BeBe Rexha and Justin Beiber. I prefer traditional country with steel guitars. George Strait. Allan Jackson. George Jones. Merle Haggard. You know, the real stuff.
So, she got mad and hit the preset button to channel 8 which plays 80’s music. But you know what, I don’t like 80’s anymore either. And when I told her, she asked me why, but I didn’t have an answer.
I don’t like it and I don’t know why.
I should like it. I spent my late teens and twenties listening to it. I used to love it. But now it just doesn’t seem to resonate with me. Maybe it’s because I don’t have big hair anymore. I couldn’t fit into parachute pants if you gave me a crowbar and a can of Crisco. The music now seems a little silly and irrelevant. The 80s are long gone and so is that smart-assed kid who grew up in them.
I guess when I got very specific about what I didn’t like, I figured out the reason why.
Back in 1996 while working for the evil Captain Davies, my bad boss that I speak often of, he came into my office with an interesting request.
Capt. Davies: “You need to get Petty Officer Jones (name has been changed) off the front desk right now.”
DT1 Munro: “Can I ask why?”
Capt. Davies: “He just doesn’t look right.”
DT1 Munro: “Roger that sir.”
Back in those days, I never questioned authority but without specifics, I had to figure out a creative way to make his request happen. I’m not sure why he didn’t like Petty Officer Jones except for maybe he was a little unkempt in his uniform, but who knows?
Captain Davies didn’t like Petty Officer Jones and I don’t think he knew why.
Which brings us to YOU.
As The Boss, you probably have little quirks and idiosyncrasies. It may be that you have some unidentified biases. It’s ok. We all have them. But if you can’t identify them, how can you possibly correct someone’s performance or at least help them meet your standards?
So this week, if you run across that individual or that result that you “don’t like and don’t know why,” take a moment to reflect and be specific. “Why” isn’t a good coaching question, but in this case, it’s your best option.
Remember, the right statement is:
I don’t like it FOR THESE REASONS.
