If you’ve never had a bad boss, trust me, one day you will. Those of us who have had one (or many) have felt the pain and agony and frustration that the bad boss causes. I’ll be addressing bad boss behaviors as part of my focus but first it might be a good idea to talk about how we ought to handle having the bad boss.
Option #1: Overlook the bad boss’s behavior and focus on the task at hand. Depending on what the behavior is, we might have to take this option. Depending on the health of the economy or the scarcity of jobs at the time or the career goals you might have, simply focusing on the task and trying to compartmentalize the bad boss behavior might be your best choice. During my 15 years in the Navy, I had no choice but to do this. Without the positional authority to do otherwise, I simply gritted my teeth and pushed on. Yes, it was stressful and yes I hated Mondays but what else could I do? Now this does not apply to behavior that is illegal or immoral. You have a responsibility to report it and have no obligation to take it! If the behavior falls into this category, be sure to document the behavior accurately and contact HR immediately.
Option #2: Confront the bad boss. This option takes guts but it can work. If you’re going to do it, be sure to have your documentation current and be prepared to state facts, not opinions or perceptions. One option is this:
To the Boss who discounts my ideas in front of my peers
When you discounted my ideas in front of my peers at today’s staff meeting
I felt insulted
Because my ideas are done out of concern for our company and my concern to add value
What I’d prefer is that you criticize me or my ideas in private
Because I’d rather not be embarrassed in front of my peers
What do you think?
The idea here is to state facts and to be assertive. Also, be sure to do this in private as well and do it in person, not by email or text!
Option #3: Quit your bad boss. I know it’s not always possible but if this relationship is causing you mental or physical stress, it might not be worth it to stay. If you’ve made the decision to leave, be sure you have at least a few strong job leads. Also, don’t make a big deal when you head out the door. As much as possible you should leave with grace and dignity and hopefully at peace with your decision. Your bad boss will eventually cause their own demise and there is no need to make a big production as you move on. If you felt this way, you should have tried Option #2 at least once. Then of course, let it all go. No sense allowing the bad boss to remain alive in your memory or your attitude. This is harder than it sounds. Don’t ask me how I know this! Also, don’t mention the bad boss when you get your new position. Start fresh.
Having a bad boss doesn’t need to be a rite of passage but it seems like we all have to experience it at least once. I’ll be working on preventing bad boss behavior but do your best to hang in there and make the most of the opportunity. And NEVER let your experience make you a bad boss!
