Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say, “I love you” right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I’ve looked at life that way
Oh, but now old friends they’re acting strange
And they shake their heads and they tell me that I’ve changed
Well something’s lost, but something’s gained
In living every day
I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions that I recall
I really don’t know life
I really don’t know life at all
Both Sides, Now – Joni Mitchell – 1969
I spend most every Friday with my mom. I moved her down to Tennessee last year as she’s a widow and all alone, and I wanted her close so I could look after her.
Politically, mom is a little right of the right. She takes great pleasure in telling me that in between scolding me for being “liberal.” Mom is quick to point out that she and her values are very traditional. It’s ok. I love spending time with my mom.
My kids are a different story. Both tend to be far to the left politically. I enjoy listening to their aspirations of the future and their concerns about climate change, wealth inequality, and human rights. They probably think I’m “old school” and that’s ok. I love spending time with our kids.
What I believe in politically is my business, but it seems as though when I agree with anyone on an issue, someone else disagrees and it bothered by it. I’m sure you’ve experienced the same thing. For most of us, it’s difficult to see Both Sides, Now.
Why should we bother? Well, if we don’t look at both sides now:
- We’ll never experience the joy of new perspectives. Tunnel vision usually ends with the light at the end of the tunnel being the business end of a train.
- We’ll surround ourselves with only those who agree with us. Which is only about half of the world’s population. We’re missing out on those other potential relationships.
- We’ll never open our minds to radical new ideas. My great grandmother refused to use the new garbage disposal she got for Mother’s Day. It was too “new school” for her. Instead, she went back to scraping plates into the trash.
- We’ll double down on what is “right” and what is “wrong.” For us. If we are “right” than every other idea or person is “wrong.” What if some of those “wrong” ideas are just the ones you need?
Empathy and compassion are in short supply these days. Maybe this is a good time to consider Both Sides, Now. What do you think?
